On Banking

The World's Only Truly Risk-Free Business

In a world full of cutthroat competition and perilous gambles, there exists a shining beacon of stability, a business model so brilliant in its design that it has seemingly eliminated the very concept of risk. I speak, of course, of banking. While other entrepreneurs toil and sweat, pouring their life savings into ventures that might fail, a banker simply sits back and marvels at a system where they can literally create wealth out of nothing.

It’s an elegant magic trick. Step one: conjure currency from the ether. Seriously. A few keystrokes on a computer and voila, new currency exists. It’s the ultimate zero-cost production. But why stop there? Step two: lend this freshly-minted, free currency to people who actually have to work for a living. And just to add a sprinkle of genius to the recipe, attach an interest rate. So, not only do the banks get their make-believe currency back, they get to pocket a little extra on top. It’s like a game where you loan a friend a dollar you just drew on a napkin, and they have to pay you back with a real, legitimate dollar and a dime. Pure profit!

Now, a cynic might ask, "But where does the interest come from?" That, my friends, is the most ingenious part of the whole shebang. The interest was never created in the first place. This subtle but critical design flaw—a bug, some might say, though it’s clearly a feature—ensures that there is never enough currency in the system to pay back all the loans and their attached interest. The only solution? People must borrow more currency to pay off the interest on their old loans. The system is therefore guaranteed to grow exponentially, a perpetually expanding pyramid where the very act of borrowing ensures more borrowing is needed. It’s a beautifully ironic, self-perpetuating cycle. And you thought Ponzi schemes were illegal…

And what about those rare moments when a banker's business acumen, or lack thereof, leads to a few bad loans? Fret not, for this is where the safety net of all safety nets appears. When a bank makes a truly terrible decision, the Federal Reserve steps in, armed with—you guessed it—more free currency, to bail them out. It’s a no-risk guarantee funded by taxpayers, a golden parachute that ensures even catastrophic failure is a profitable, or at least painless, experience.

Then there's the delightful little cherry on top: collateral. If a homeowner defaults on their loan, the bank doesn't simply lose their free money; they seize the collateral, be it a house or a car. The bank can then sell the property, getting their free currency back again, sometimes with a handsome profit.

In conclusion, while we're told that all business involves risk, the banking industry has masterfully defied this universal law. By creating currency, charging for its use, ensuring perpetual growth, and securing government bailouts and collateral as backups, they have created the world's only truly foolproof, risk-free enterprise. It’s enough to make you want to quit your day job and start printing currency.

If you could print free currency at will, how much would you print? Who would you give it to? How long would you print it for?

If you anwsered, as much as possible; give it to my bankster buddys on wall street; and never stop until there was so much currency noone wants it, you hit the nail on the head!

And that's how fiat currency becomes worthless…